i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
