She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
