I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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