Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
