CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
