Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize