Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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