He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
there is glitter all over my balls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
