I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize