Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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