I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
