once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
