I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
