MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
