He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
