Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Semen is not good for contacts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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