alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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