Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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