you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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