i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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