So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
