I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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