I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
