I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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