apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
