Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
