There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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