I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
