lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize