I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
bring money and cleavage
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
