just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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