The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
