Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
