Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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