Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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