This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize