That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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