if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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