I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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