I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
