I understand Curling. That high.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
