apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
