I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
