Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize