She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize