umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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