Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
