Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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