this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
