Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
