my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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