Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize