this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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