His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
