I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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