mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
