I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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